Picture Day

Today is picture day.  And, I remembered! Last year I forgot and realized only when dropping Nicholas off at daycare, as soon as I walked in the door I saw all of Michael's kindergartener friends all dressed up.  Of course, I was furious with myself because what kind of mother gets all dressed up herself for work and then lets her son dress himself in his favorite (most worn out) athletic gear for his VERY FIRST picture of his school career. So, I called Josh and begged him to help change Michael before he hopped on the bus.  Like any rational adult, Josh refused.  He did fill out the picture form for me, though, and bought the cheapest package of pictures.  (This is a link to THAT story from last year: The Joke is on you, Katie.  I look back on last fall and cringe. It was a very difficult time for our family in so many ways that, unfortunately, I can't write about.)

This morning, just minutes after Michael had risen for the day, I badgered him about his clothing for PICTURE DAY! After all, I had been up since 4:15 and already ran 8 miles and had a few cups of coffee. (My poor family.) So, energetically,  I said something like, "Wa-HOO! Today is PICTURE DAY, Michael! You might want to think a little bit more about what you are going to wear, okay?"  With a roll of his eyes, he said he was good and was going to keep the chosen outfit ON.  And, of course, it was athletic gear.  And, they were pajamas from last night.  (awesome...)

(Sigh...)

The outfit of choice for first grade pictures included a blue Duke t-shirt, with green William and Mary basketball shorts.  And, I'm almost certain that he did not brush his hair.  Thank goodness it is short.

As a girl, and even as a mother, it drives me NUTS that these boys go for comfort ALL the time and never, ever for style.  And, really, I don't expect them to put together beautiful outfits. But they could at least let ME take over that fun task, you know?  There are some little boys who are so compliant- they love for their mothers to dress them or pick out something that looks nice or even gel their hair a little bit.  Not my boys, though.  One of my best friends from elementary school has a son, a little older than Michael, who LOVES to dress up for his Mommy.  And, my friend down the street, her son told her that she could just go ahead and pick out his outfit for picture day.  Neither son will ever do that, I think.  But, come to think of it, I did not  let MY mom pick out my outfits when I was a kid, either.  And, she was never allowed to touch my hair.  What comes around goes around, I suppose.

They're good for me, these kids.  They help me with my (obvious) control issues.

So today I did not pay for pictures that I never really like nor did I force Michael to wear a polo shirt with adorable khaki shorts.  And, shockingly, I was okay with that because it was completely by choice on everyone's part. Not because I was so flustered with myself and my work that I could not remember picture day, or my own name.

So far, so good....

And, another one bites the DUST.

As promised, Nicholas Clay started school today!  

He woke up with a smile in his face and a skip in his step.  He has genuinely and sincerely missed his friends and the daycare setting.  This morning he refused to eat breakfast BECAUSE he always ate breakfast at school in the mornings with his girlfriends- back in the day when I was full speed ahead from about 4:30 am to 7:50 am.  I tried to explain that this day would be different and that he was missing the opportunity to have breakfast.  He still refused. I was curious to see his reaction when he was picked up earlier today, as well.  Part of me figured that he might throw a fit about having to leave school earlier than normal.  

We got in a few really cute pictures prior to heading out for the 8:30 drop off.  He was so proud to have HIS own sign today, too, even though the sign should read 2nd Grade, not preschool.  He quickly got dressed and happily put on his backpack this afternoon.  This little guy could not wait to return to school- he has been away from his friends for far too long, according to Nicholas.

I love this bottom picture- the little crinkly nose! The top picture was completely fake because he couldn't stop smiling about going to his own school today.  :) 

When I picked him up, he said, "Mom! I didn't have lunch there today! Not at all.  Not at all.  And~ I wasn't sent to time out today, Mom.  Not at all."  I asked him about his very best buddy, Ashley.  He said, "She wasn't there, Mom.  Not at all."  I'm not sure what is going on with this "not at all" business, but I do find it to be very cute.  He's an adorable kid.  And, is already taking a delicious nap after having a quiet lunch at home.  

Of course, the morning flew by for me.  We are having work done on the van, so I hiked around town this morning after dropping Nicholas off at school.  I also managed to clean up a few things, and go through toys in the playroom because we are having a yard sale very soon!  The first one ever for our family. 

As Nicholas likes to say, "So far, so good...."  The start to the new week has been great, and we are all happy and content.  

...and, this is crazy...

Tomorrow is THE day for Nicholas- preschool begins! 

Hurray! 

I promise that I am not saying that because I am so excited about having three WHOLE hours to myself four days a week (OMG... THREE HOURS x 4 days = 12 HOURS!!!), or because Nicholas is three and can sometimes drive me crazy. ( I promise.) We actually had an awesome week together while Michael was in school last week, we really did. 

Tomorrow is an exciting day because... maybe, just maybe, Nicholas will stop proclaiming that he is going into 1st grade (sometimes it is 2nd grade) and riding the bus to school.  He has been declaring this grade level change for about two weeks now, and it is  a constant argument.  Not between Nicholas and me, but between Michael and Nicholas.  I can block out three year old non-sense and confusion, it seems Michael absolutely cannot.  Nicholas can really get Michael's goat with this one, in fact, he likes to say that he is going to be in class with Michael this year.  He nearly drives Michael crazy with this whole going into second grade thing.  It is ugly to watch Michael unravel with furry.  And, sooooo annoying. They fight about Nicholas' make believe world at least once a day. No joke.

On our way home from church today, Nicholas started again about going to 1st grade tomorrow, being in Michael's class, and riding the bus with Michael. Of course, Michael lost all composure, and the endless argument began.  Instead of trying to work Nicholas through whose class he is going to be in tomorrow and where he is going to school, I cranked up the radio.  Because I don't want to hear it one more time.  

So, I sang... "and this is crazy....but here's my number.... so call me maybe...."  

We made it home safely, they quit arguing because the music was too loud, and somehow I did not lose my mind over this ongoing fight about Nicholas going into first grade.  

And, he's OFF!

Up at 6 this morning! 

Ready to conquer the world! 

Michael was beyond excited about going to school this morning.  He played with his Legos when he first woke up, then he watched football highlights, then he took a bath (his new thing to do in the mornings), and then he ate a little bit of breakfast, and then I kicked him outside to play basketball.  That's a lot to get accomplished before meeting the bus at 7:30 am.  :)

We talked a lot about walking to school because we are so close and there's no rush.  Michael as much as he was trying to appease me, wanted nothing to do with walking to school.  He wanted to hop on the bus and head to school without the interference of me or Nicholas, which is cool.  He was very worried about Nicholas throwing a temper tantrum (a valid concern) in his new classroom.  He was also worried that Nicholas would refuse to leave, which is another completely valid concern, as well.  After all, Nicholas is telling everyone that he is going into SECOND grade and then high school next.  

The number one goal (maybe not THE number one goal) of parenting for us is to  foster independence, self reliance, and self confidence in our children.  He's confident, he's proud of school, and he loves to learn.  I pray that he will always be this happy on his first day of school, or work.   

How is he is first grade already, though???  Where has the time gone???

First day on the job...

I can't say that I missed the meetings today, at all.  

Today was pretty awesome, I'm very grateful.  

Maybe this is a good decision?

This morning when Michael walked into the bathroom while I was showering, I asked him if he is ready for his first day of school.  

He said, "Yeah, Mom.  But, I don't think you are ready for me to go back."

Busted.  

Shockingly, he also asked when my class starts. When I reminded him that I am not going to be a teacher this year, he said "not THAT class, Mom. Your SCHOOL class!"  

What in the world?  

He was talking about the graduate course that starts next Tuesday, which I have never even mentioned to him. Turns out, he listens a little bit when I talk to other people. Who ever would have thought?  

Just like a band aid.

Michael came home from an overnight with my parents in tears yesterday.

He was tearful because we have one more day at home.  He can't start school until Tuesday and that really, really makes him sad. He's ready to GO BACK!!  

Meanwhile, I'm in tears because as much as I am READY for him to go back to school, I'm not.  What in the world are Nicholas and I going to do with ourselves?  And, of course, today a number of my friends are heading back to school and so is my mom. I half-way miss the first day back at school jitters, but then again... I don't.  

It's just a mixed bag of emotions over here.  I don't doubt my decision to stay home for awhile at all.  I really don't, it will be good for our family in so many ways.  But, it is time to go ahead and rip off the band aid already.  The anticipation is driving me nuts.  And, this'll continue for another week yet because Nicholas starts pre-school next Monday.  He's just as ready to get back to friends and "school" as Michael.  

For our last day of summer break we are going to Great Country Farm and I think we might pick a few apples and jump on the BIG pillow.  And then in the afternoon we are going to the park and out to dinner.  One last summer hurrah, with very few errands and chores.  There's plenty of time for errands next week while they are both in school and I'm wandering around aimlessly without a job. (This year is going to be great, right?!? I'm not feeling panicky at all...) 

Oh geez, let's just rip off the band aid already.  

He's growing up:

Signs he's growing up into a boy:

1.  He burps.  A lot.  The louder, the better.  And, mostly during dinner- when he can receive the most attention.  I ignore it and then YELL if he doesn't say "excuse me."

2.  He showers now.  Doesn't want to take a bath with his little brother anymore.

3.  He tries to wear deodorant, if he does from 5th grade on- we'll be in good shape.

4.  He's a slob and totally cool with that.

5.  He chews his food as loudly as possible and slurps drinks like Duncan does with his water.

There are a million other things, of course, but it has really come to my attention that I will be living in a house with three BOYS/MEN whatever for a really long time!  I guess it is a good thing to be the one and only princess??  It is, right???

Slowing Down

Yesterday was probably one of my favorite days of the summer.  I got in a semi-long run, cleaned a little bit, volunteered at Michael's school for an hour, and spent time with friends before the dreaded-much contested nap time.  What made it wonderful was the fact that it was such a slow day, and as a result the boys were so happy and pleasant to be around.  Maybe it is a mistake, but I usually feel like we have to get out of the house everyday.  And I am finding that when those days include errands or shopping (even new SNEAKER SHOE shopping), we are all quite miserable.  Little boys don't like to do errands, and they don't like to be schlepped from store to store.  The better part of the beginning of the week included a lot of shopping for school supplies and new shoes and groceries- sheer torture for everyone.

I took note yesterday, took note of how easy the boys were to handle and how much they were to be around.  And I etched that into my memory for today and the coming year.  Next week, when Michael starts school, Nicholas and I are going to take it easy.  We aren't going to rush from one stimulating activity to the next.  While Nicholas is in school this year, I plan to get all of those painful errands out of the way.  As the days get closer, I'm looking forward to our new school schedule and I am going to make an effort to slow down and not sign up for every volunteer opportunity that comes my way.

Here's an example-

(Last fall- an assembly to honor children every quarter)

Last year I did sign up to be a PTA officer, I'm not sure what I got myself into; but I want to be more involved in our county's schools.  So, last week while we were on vacation, I received this email asking for volunteers for lots of upcoming PTA activities.  And, after having a mini panic attack, I sent back a reply saying that I would help with the kindergarten orientation.  (No big deal, right?) And, then there was this opportunity to help with the first day of school and welcoming parents.  Which, really is a wonderful idea- I think activities like that add to the warmth of the school.  Naturally, because I like the idea, I was this close to sending a response to say that I would help.  And, then I didn't.  For the first time ever, I'm actually going to be able to enjoy and savor the first day of school for Michael.  When I look back on all of his "first days," I have always been in a rush to get from daycare/preschool/kindergarten drop off to my own school.  I am genuinely looking forward to either walking with Michael and Nicholas to school or to putting him on the bus all while drinking a cup of coffee.

It is going to be a challenge for me because I like to be busy and I like to help and I like to work hard.  This year, though, it is going to be a different kind of working hard and a different kind of busy- like teaching Nicholas how to write his name and how to count and to read many, many books to him, and to even let him play on his own.  It'll be different, that's for sure; but I think it will be great.

(Michael met his teacher today and got to check out his desk for the year.  He's so excited and wants to know how many more stay home days he has left with me because he can't wait to go back.)

take 3

The nap: take three.

This week I have attempted to put Nicholas down for a nap THREE times.  Monday, he was CLEARLY exhausted- flopping around in his bed yawning after shopping for new sneakers and church shoes.  (The kid hardly slept at the beach, seriously.) He just absolutely refused to succumb to sleep.  (100% Refusal)  Yesterday- same deal.  We met another family for a morning "play date" at the park, went out for haircuts, and even to my Grandmother's house for lunch.  Again, he flopped around in his bed and refused (absolutely REFUSED) to close his eyes.  Meanwhile, seven year old Michael was completely passed out in his bed and slept soundly for an hour and a half.  You can't tell me Nicholas was not tired- he also woke up  well BEFORE Michael yesterday morning.  I think it was like 6:45- 7:00 when he got out of bed and dressed himself yesterday morning.

Today we have been on the move again- back to school shopping/grocery shopping this morning with my mom, home for lunch, and then to the fair for the puppet show.  Nicholas was so outta whack during the show, it was awful: flopping in the bleachers, climbing on Michael, just in general completely out of control of his body. Clearly- the kid is TIRED.  So, I did what most mom's do; I threatened his life.  Just kidding, I gave him three options of where he could sit, and if he chose not to sit in any of those places then we would have to leave.

Sure enough- we had to leave, which made me so mad! What do you do, though?  He's smart enough to know that empty threats are just that- empty.  We scooped up our things, said good-bye to the family/friends with whom we were sitting, and left.  On the way out, though, we saw all the rides getting started (today is 1/2 off rides day for kids).  Which, really peaked Nicholas's interest.  He decided that maybe he should go home and nap, so that we could try again this evening??? Wouldn't that be nice- a nap??  He was also given a sneak peak of the animals, which he really wanted to pet.  Nicholas and I made a deal that IF he  slept (meaning, REALLY SLEPT!), we will return to the fair this evening.

I'm not sure if he's sleeping right now, but he's being incredibly quiet and has not moved a muscle since he snuggled up on his bed with his blanket and stuffed giraffe.  For everyone's sake, I hope he is sleeping.

My mom continues to say that maybe Nicholas is done with napping.  And, really, he may want to be done; but he REALLY needs the rest time in the afternoons.  The out of body experiences that he has on a frequent basis are proof that the child needs more sleep.  I think this summer has been difficult for him because Michael does not take frequent naps, and Nicholas wants to be just like his big brother.  Maybe (maybe) once school starts next week, Nicholas will be able to settle down a little bit more in the afternoons for a quick rest.  Things are going to be quite different without Michael running the around the place all day.

It's pretty clear, though, that any and all threats (consequences is probably a better word choice, right?)  must be implemented.  He is a smart and manipulative kid and will totally call our bluffs'.  It is also clear that intrinsic motivation is KEY with Nicholas, as well as providing a tangible and quick reward.  It isn't enough to say, we can go to the fair tomorrow night for ride all night IF you take a nap on Wednesday afternoon.  He's still way too young for that.  However, the reward of getting to go this evening and actually seeing the reward was very helpful this afternoon.... We even looked at the ice cream he I could get this evening.

Of course, all this being said, he's probably not napping, right?  And, he's probably playing me for a fool, right?

Eeehhh... At least he's quiet and laying down???

fresh start

I've decided: new year, new goals, new "job", new blog.

The address will most likely change, so stay tuned.  

It's just time for another change, a new look, maybe new topics... 

We'll see what this year brings!

And now, a favorite quote from one of the most delicious books I have EVER read: 

“I smiled down at Charlie, and I understood that he would be free now even if I would not. In this way the life that was in me would find its way in him now. It was not a sad feeling. I felt my heart take off lightly like a butterfly and I thought, yes, this is it, something has survived in me, something that does not need to run anymore, because it is worth more than all the money in the world and its currency, its true home, is the living. And not just the living in this particular country or in that particular country, but the secret, irresistible heart of the living. I smiled back at Charlie and I knew that the hopes of this whole human world could fit inside one soul.”
― Chris Cleave, Little Bee

no more library time.

In less than 24 hours, I read Little Bee by Chris Cleave.  

The cover caught my attention this spring in Walmart. I so badly wanted to buy a book that day, but managed to talk myself out of spending the twelve bucks on the book since summer was around the corner.  (Summer means more time at the library.)

This is what really caught my attention and made me curious:

This story is magical, gripping, and enlightening.  I will say that I was SO frustrated at the end.  You've just got to read this one... especially if you enjoy reading about semi-current events (2007) and if you want enlightenment on what it is like to live on a different continent.  ; ) Don't want to write anymore, just read this one- it is so awesome.  

(I think Book Thief still might be my summer favorite, though.)

home!

(But I don't want to leave the beach! And neither does my MOM!)

We are HOME! And will be home for awhile now that school is just around the corner.  

Honestly, it feels good to be home and to start the process of settling in for the school year.  ( I suppose.)

This week, though, we are going to continue to  soak up the sunshine, hit the pool another time or two, and enjoy the lazy mornings that lie before us. Things will change soon enough next Tuesday morning, right?

When the kids take a nap this afternoon, I am going to write about the trip to Bear Island, a highlight of the beach trip. Haha. They fight while I try to blog, which makes blogging not much fun.  (They're doing it right now, in fact....) I'm noticing that the older they get, the less they sleep?  What's up with that??  Everyday during vacation, I thought, SURELY they will be tired this afternoon.  SURELY they will go to bed early or SURELY they will nap.  NOPE.  They just played harder and swam in the pool longer.  

More later, because I AM determined to make the littlest one take a nap today.

A few pictures...

(This is Josh right after receiving a voicemail from work...) 

He's finally starting to relax AND, AND(!!!) he is NOT SICK this time!!!  

Shhhh.... We don't want his immune system to find out... 

Maybe the fact that he is still worried about work is preventing him from getting sick?!?!?  

(Toothless!)

I don't want this week to ever end.  It has been awesome, and the beach is just as beautiful as it was four years ago when we were here with just Michael.  :) Nicholas loves this beach.  When Josh asked him if he was having fun he said, "So far, so good, Dad!"  It has been a huge struggle to get them to leave the beach or the pool, it doesn't matter if they are starving, even.  The weather has not been perfect for a sun worshipper like myself, but really I can't complain a bit.  We have been able to get out on the beach or to the pool everyday; in fact, yesterday we swam in the rain which the boys thought was so cool.  

Today we took them to a deserted beach, Bear Island or Hammock Beach State Park, which was ... an adventure. Bear Island is ALWAYS an adventure.  More on that tomorrow... There are so many pictures to share and stories to tell!  Michael was itching to go- he wants to find shells just like his Nina does.  Unfortunately, he does not wake early to walk the beaches, nor does he have the patience for shelling. Nevertheless, he bounces with complete joy from one activity to the next- swimming, "surfing," building sand castles, he loves it all.  

Tomorrow we are heading to a beautiful aquarium, with lots of fantastic exhibits.  Nicholas is most excited about the turtle exhibit- he has a crazy fascination with sea turtles right now.  There is actually a nest that has been in the process of hatching all week just outside of our duplex.  On the beach, of course.  There is s a HUGE effort here to save the sea turtles, which makes my heart warm. So different from Vegas, you know? Little Nicholas listened to the volunteer explain the process for helping the babies intently.  He then told me that he just wanted to hold the turtle and hug it, and then he would let it go back into the ocean.  Gosh he is a sweetheart.

This vacation has been so good for Josh and the boys, and we really must make it a point to do this every single year.  Even through travel sports, college, and summer jobs and summer camps: I want our family to go on a vacation every year.  And, I do love it here so much: the Pointe, the soft sand, and the town that never seems to change much year after year.  My family has been coming to this beach since I was a little girl, and really, no other beach quite compares.  I hope my family comes to love it as much as I do.  

More tomorrow- the Bear Island trip was a DOOOZY.  (Those trips always are...)

Find your greatness.

I promise (PROMISE) to post some fun pictures tonight.  We are having a wonderful time. The boys have said multiple times how much fun they are having.  It is a struggle to get them to leave the beach or the pool for dinner.  Nicholas is handling the sand very well, which is blessing.  I was concerned about Nicholas and the sand prior to the week beginning, but I should not have been because he handled the sand just fine at the lake with Granddad and Mango.

Anyway.  I ran on the beach this morning, seven miles, which was a huge feat because the humidity is thick, the wind was strong, and it was raining.  On the last mile, though, I remembered this commercial.  This commercial truly brings tears to my eyes.  I love it because it makes me think of this one special student from middle school PE.  He was the size of this boy and had the biggest heart of any student I ever met.  I miss that kid.

Watch it. It'll make you cry, too.

Love:

A love list for summer 2012:

1.  Gabby Douglas.  My Olympic Favorite for the London 2012 Olympics, well, except for R Fed, of course.  She is absolutely precious, I could just eat her up.  The other night I told Josh that I love her because there's no crying with Gabby: she has these emotions of steel (something I don't have), her confidence, and her smile are just awesome to watch.  And, trust me, if I were Jordyn Wieber OR Aly Raisman, I most definitely would have been bawling my eyes out for either not making or for making it OR for just being in the Olympics for goodness sake!!  

2.  The Library.  So cheesy, right?  Ahhhhh... But I love it so much this summer.  The children are still not at the point where I can wander around the library for hours on end looking for books or authors that I have read about on Oprah's website. They might not EVER be there, I think... However, if I go in with a list, I can usually buy myself five minutes to find something on the shelf that interests me.  Right now I have about ten books checked out for myself, I'll be lucky to finish five of them before they have to go back. But, gosh, you just can't beat a good book from the library!  Today we went over to Handley, which made Michael SO excited.  He likes the nonfiction section a lot- so cerebral, like his father- and we managed to find a few nonfiction books for the beach trip.  Michael is really excited about the movie he found at the library today- Disney's Miracle, the one about the winning hockey team.  He says he and his dad will watch that one while we are at the beach.  

3.  Beauty Products.  Seriously.  I love new beauty products.  And!! From what I hear, there is an ULTA (!!! OMG !!! SOOOOO EXCITED !!!) coming to Winchester.  Maybe they'll hire me?  So I can support my product habit?  Bare Minerals will be right at my finger tips.  Yipppeee!!  So these are my new favorite products for the summer:  No 7 Shine Free (available at Target), Living Proof Restore Revitalizing Spray (to use before going out in the summer or to use before subjecting your hair to heat), Living Proof No Friz Shampoo and Conditioner (my hair struggles without this stuff during the summer), and my new favorite...  LUMIERE LIQUIDE (expensive, but worth the price).  

4.  The time with friends.  This week I was able to visit with my MHS friends twice- once at a wine party, which was so much fun I would like to have one myself, and the second time was for lunch and pedicures (a goodbye present from June, which was for a friend who is leaving special education and a "good luck with that staying at home mom thing" for me).  On both occasions, I had an awesome time.  I've said this so often, or maybe just written it so often, but being assigned to that high school was such an awesome answered prayer. Teaching in a high school challenged me professionally, but I was also so blessed to make these awesome new friends.  We are all pretty different, and are in very different places in our lives- a couple have just gotten married, one is engaged, and my dearest friend has two children who are grown and gone.  They make me laugh and they get me out of the house every once in awhile, and for that I am grateful.  I used to think that I was the old lady of the group because of the kids and not being able to go out on Friday evenings, but I was so wrong.  They have truly become good friends and they don't even mind coming over here for visits. They find the children to be cute (???) and entertaining (???).  Back to the wine party for a sec: it was like I was in a Southern Living magazine - the food was AMAZING and so was the wine.  I took an itty, bitty (if that, with some wines) because I had to drive myself home and I was terrified of drinking too much and getting pulled over or wrecking. So,  I was extremely cautious the whole night, and it was still a blast!  

5.  Home.  Not just my home, but the SONG - Home by Phillip Phillips.  Maybe it is because they play it during the Olympics, but I have just totally fallen in love with this song.  It will definitely be on the Marine Corps Marathon #5 playlist, I promise.  "Just know you're not alone cause I'm going to make this place your home."  And, to be honest, I'm still very much in love with home after being in Las Vegas for five days.  I love the grass, the trees, our Blue Ridge Mountains, and the awesome fresh air, oh! and all of the animals- cows, horses, dogs, cats without sunglasses: I love it all!  The trip was awesome, and as I've mentioned the time with Josh was very much needed; but I absolutely love home- everything about it, even the dirty bathrooms.  

6. The Beach.  We aren't there yet, but we are SO close!  Plans changed and Kiawah was put on the back burner because of Josh's work, so we are heading back to Emerald Isle.  ♥  The last time we were there, I was really pregnant with Nicholas. I think I was in the last trimester, actually, or maybe just a week away.  The Olympics were going on then, Obama had just named his VP, and the beach was hit with the outskirts of a hurricane ( which really SUCKED!), and Josh was .... SICK.  (He gets sick every SINGLE time we go on vacation, I'm not even kidding.)  That beach trip was not a favorite, which is why I think we haven't gone back to Emerald Isle in so long. Nicholas continues to ask what the beach is going to be like because he says he can't remember.  He says he is going to swim in the ocean first and touch the sand while swimming under water and then (!) he is going to build a sand castle with me.   My expectations for this trip are... low.  If we aren't hit with a hurricane AND (!) if Josh stays healthy?  I will be so grateful.  

Ok- enough random gibberish for now.  

There really are lots of pictures to share from this summer on my camera, I have got to do a massive download one of these days.  

and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again...

Welcome, August!  (Sort of.) As a teacher, I can't stand that Staples (or, Office Max) commercial with the parents singing "and mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again."  Now, as a parent, my perspective is completely different!

It's funny.  I have had a few conversations with friends who are working mothers' year round- they are not teachers, these friends.  So, they have to somehow balance summer fun, beach vacations, travel sports, AND WORK.  And, a lot of times, I get this question, "How are you doing? Things going okay so far with staying home?"  We giggle because right now life feels normal, completely as it should.  These friends might want to say, "Have you ripped your hair out yet?  Do you drink mimosas after running to help you get through the long summer days with two boys at home?"  Instead of straight out asking those questions, they do a little spot check.  Which, leaves me room to share with them how (or, if) I am managing to stay sane.  These friends are kind to worry about my sanity, they may want to check back during the fall/spring tax seasons.

While things are chaotic with the boys, I have kept them on the go with swimming and other summer activities. According to my Grandmother, Michael has been in camp ALL SUMMER.  (Shhh....she's right... kidding.  Not quite ALL summer.) However, I will admit that grocery shopping with the two of them does, in fact, make me want to rip out every single strand of hair.  This afternoon BOTH of them had to pee while we were in the store, which takes a good FIFTEEN MINUTES, apparently.  Nicholas rubbed his hands all over the floor, while going to the restroom (don't ask) and then hit his hand on the metal toilet paper dispenser and then cried in pain and embarrassment (naked) for a few minutes.  They also like to pretend they are in the movie "Kung Fu Panda." When they pretend they are Kung Fu Panda, they punch things, like toilet paper and paper towels.  It's a good time.  (And,  to think my mom had THREE boys (+ ME) in the grocery store with her each and every LONG, HOT summer. )

We are getting ready for the beach vacation, all while thinking about back to school supplies, and the fair.  So, really, life is totally normal for this time of year.  We are happy and still loving every bit of summer, and of course, I'm starting to feel a little blue that it will rapidly end after fair week.  Michael goes back VERY early (in comparison to other districts) this year.  And that means the end of lazy summer mornings.   Ugh, and the start of packing lunches again.

And, even though I am not going back to school in August, my stomach is in KNOTS thinking about the school year starting.  Why?  What's there to worry about, right?  I really don't understand why I feel sick in my stomach, and why butterflies are dancing all around.  They just are.  Maybe it is because I have felt this way every single August since I was five, except for that year that I took off to have a baby?  Maybe it is because I don't know how things are going to look in September- am I going to love being home?  Will three days of preschool be enough for Nicholas or should I have signed him up for four?  Is Michael going to be happy with school?  What about soccer, will he like that, too?  And, what about the class that I am going to start at the end of August?  Am I going to be able to manage that without failing the thing? And, I worry a little bit about the September/October tax season and Josh being gone so much.

Maybe it is just an annual thing that will never, ever go away.  I still have VIVID memories of the first days of school as a kid- college (of course) Williamsburg being hot as can be, a dorm without air conditioning, Princess Diana being killed in the car accident, Missy across the hall teaching me how to use the phone, exploring Colonial Williamsburg during orientation, and the smell of apple lotion from Bath and Body Works.  But, really my memories go back much further than that- even all the way to first grade when I was sent to the elementary school close to home and far away from my mother's school. I remember wearing a light blue dress, and writing things on my dad's car windows as my brothers sat in the car to go to the familiar and comforting baby sitter's house.   I also remember missing my bus because of getting confused on the combination to my locker on my very first day of sixth grade.  Grandma came to the rescue, of course, and picked me up.  Also, I remember crying in Mr. Hansbarger's class on the first day of school because I was late- had him first block, day one's, senior year. There are so many more memories like that, just floating around.

I suppose that my anxiety from those first few days of school as a student and DEFINITELY as a teacher are going to be transferred to thinking about the boys experiencing their first days.  And, really my first days without them ALL day long, every single day.  Though, there is not one ounce of trepidation in either child in regards to starting the new school year.  They love school, they love learning, they love being with their friends, and they love the time away from mom and dad (which is a good thing!).  And, really I should be kissing the knots (and the boys) goodbye with a huge smile BECAUSE I will get to grocery shop on my own one day a week AND, AND(!!!!).... UNLOAD without having to FEED them during the process. Those days will be awesome.

Let's be honest, though, I still feel a little bit like throwing up in my mouth.

Nicholas, though, on Monday, said to me, "Mommy?? When are you going to take me back to school??? My friends MISS me, Mommy!!"  So cute, right?? He misses his friends so much.  Should he go four days a week??? Is three going to be enough???  He's such a social kid, maybe being home with me two full days will too much time with mom?